


Beautifully Doomed

by CarnivalofBrokenDolls (yourrhinestoneeyes)



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Scene, Comfort, Ed finds he can't go through with it, Hurt, M/M, Slight Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8736811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrhinestoneeyes/pseuds/CarnivalofBrokenDolls
Summary: Ed knows exactly what he should have done, but he finds he did everything he shouldn't.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed in the scene where Ed plans on stabbing Oswald, but changes his mind when Oswald starts asking him to forget what happened that Ed never looks him in the eye. He does everything he can to avoid making eye contact with Oswald, can't help but wonder why.

He knew that if he met his eyes then he’d be done for. While Oswald had spoken, asked him to forget about all things said the day before he could feel a war raging within himself. He could hear the voice in his head telling him it meant nothing, that all that Oswald had done had been out of a self-centered greed and not genuine feelings. Ed knew that he should hurt him for betraying him, but he couldn’t. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes while he listened to his longtime friend, he heard the cracks and wavers in his voice as he asked him to just go back to the way things were before. Before Oswald started to look at him in a different way, before Ed had for a moment in time hoped he’d been correct about the way his friend looked at him. He knew that he should walk away if he wasn’t going to hurt or kill him. If he didn’t just walk away then he would be doomed, they both would be really.

Just like the way Ed couldn’t stab the smaller man he also found himself unable to avoid his eyes. He knew it was over when he made eye contact with the older man. When he saw the desperate fear on his face, fear that he had caused without completely knowing it. Ed felt his own tears fall from his eyes, slowly scrolling down his cheeks. The look of fear on Oswald’s face turned to one of intense concern.

“Ed, wh-what’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this,” he confessed.

He placed his hands on the smaller man’s shoulders as he stared down at him trying to work out in his mind where to even go from here. There weren’t many ways out, he could still run off and leave Oswald with eighty more questions as to why his one and only friend continued to run from him.

“Do what?”

He couldn’t risk to ruin his plan, a plan that would keep Barbara and them from causing real physical harm to Oswald. He couldn’t bring himself to really cause his friend the psychological torment he’d been planning ever since finding out the truth about everything. He couldn’t bring himself to run away, to tell him he hated him. 

“Did you mean what you said, about your feelings about me?”

Why was it so hard to say the word out loud?

Ed could feel the other man’s shoulders tense, he saw the panic return to his eyes and if he hadn’t been holding him in place then he knew Oswald would be the one attempting to run this time.

“E-Ed I…..I don’t know why I said that, I shouldn’t have said anything at all.”

“Did you mean it?”

There was a long pause as the smaller man studied his face trying to read where this could be heading.

“Y-yes. I love you Ed, I’m sorry.”

He didn’t feel the realizing panic in his chest this time, he just felt terribly sad and overwhelmed. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s waist, he pulled his body against his own holding him close.

“Don’t ever apologize for that,” he sternly stated as he stared down at his friend.

He could feel the other man’s hands on his back, his fingers clutching at him like he was desperate to hold onto him forever. Ed knew he should be long gone out the front door, they shouldn’t be having this conversation here in front of nosey bastards, but neither of them were good with keeping things private. 

“I thought you were disgusted by me.” Oswald whispered, there was such a strong sorrow to the words.

“No, that isn’t why I left.”

“Why did you leave then?”

If he told him it could potentially ruin everything. Even right now just holding him like that was ruining all his plans of revenge, his plans to avenge the memory of a woman he’d lost twice now. 

Ed moved a hand to the other man’s cheek, Oswald leaned into his touch letting out a heavy sigh.

“When we get home, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you everything. There’s a lot we need to discuss Oswald.”

“Home?”

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

Their home, it had been their home without question for months now. 

He knew looking at him that they were doomed, that once they sat down and talked about everything that Ed knew about then their future was unsure. The only real bright side was that it was their future to share, the burdens, and tragedies were for them to share instead of facing them alone.


End file.
